Computer Scientist dan cara pandang tentang wanita

Baru-baru ini World Computer Scientist Journal mengadakan survey terhadap para computer scientist tentang bagaimana cara mereka memandang wanita, hasilnya sbb:
1. Tipe CPU:
pintar, pemikir, tidak banyak bicara tapi mengerjakan banyak hal, (diam- diam tau-tau sudah 7… bulan).
2. Tipe Monitor:
genit, senangnya diperhatikan, suka pamer, (padahal belum tentu yang dipamerin bagus).
3. Tipe Keyboard:
senang dipegang, ditekan dan dipencet di berbagai lokasi (awas, salah tekan bisa hang
4. Tipe Printer:
aktif, ditekan sedikit geraknya banyak, kalau sedang dipakai berisik, (nggak cocok di rumah type 21 ato’ RSS, mengganggu tetangga).

5. Tipe Mouse:
pas dan enak digenggam, dingin-dingin empuk!.
6. Tipe Windows:
tampak luar bagus, dalamnya penuh bugs.
7. Tipe Linux-Console:
tampak luar jelek, dalamnya ‘handal.’

8. Tipe XWindow:
luar dalam bisa dihandalkan.
9. Tipe DOS:….
wajah tidak cantik, belum tentu hatinya baik!
10. Tipe UNIX:
diam-diam, multi user.
11. Tipe PLC:
badan besar dan kekar, Mampu bekerja di tempat kotor, 24 jam sehari, 365 hari setahun nonstop selama 30 tahun.
12. Tipe Windows NT:
multi user, previlleges bisa costumized.
13. Tipe Windows Vista:
selalu up to date, exclusive, nggak sembarangan terima cowoq, apalagi bajakan… dan terkini…
14. Tipe Windows 7:
mirip dengan Windows Vista namun flexible, menerima laki-laki atau perempuan… yang penting kasih sayang…
JUST JOKE.. PISS AHHH…

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A couple and Genie

A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million
dollar homes. On the third tee, the husband cautioned, "Honey, be careful
when you drive. If we break one of those windows, it'll cost us a fortune to
repair".

Of course, she tee'd off and promptly shanked it right through the window of
the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to watch
out! Now we'll have to go up there and apologize and see how much that lousy
drive is going to cost us."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and a warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken
antique bottle lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke the
window?"

"Uh yeah, we're sure sorry about that" the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually, I want to thank you. You see, I'm a
genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that
you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each
one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out,
"I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem", said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do."
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in
the world" she said.
"Consider it done." the genie said.
"And now," the couple both asked in unison, "What's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman
in a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now
have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right.
Considering all that, I guess I wouldn't mind."

The genie and the woman went upstairs where he ravished her for the rest of
the afternoon. Both satisfied each other repeatedly, and afterwards, the
genie rolled over and looked at the wife and asked, "How old are you and
your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35" she responded breathlessly.
"No shit! Thirty-five years old and both of you idiots still believe in
genies?"

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-LAWYER-

-LAWYER-

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker
to inscribe on his tombstone, "Heresies Strange, an honest man, and a
lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing,
for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the
stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a
man who was both honest and a lawyer.

"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they
would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!

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Paint my house

A woman who was incredibly beautiful walks into a bar that had about twenty-five guys in the place. She walks tot he center of the room and says, "I will do anything for one man, and only one man in this room. Normally I charge four hundred dollars, but tonight, it's free. And I'm going to pick that man myself."


She walks along the bar, tempting every guy in the place. Finally she stops in front of one and says, "I pick you. I will do anything you want, and I will do it better than it has ever been done before. What," she asks, "would you like me to do?"

The guy stares right into her eyes and says, "Paint my house."

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RETURNED

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RETURNED
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A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town,
doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when
the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a
prostitute and I charge $20." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did
their thing.

After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out
the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi
driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

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